Overwhelmed
by AccidentalNaps
Summary: Not enough words and too much to say. EXB all human, pointless fluffy one shot.
1. Chapter 1

**I just borrowed the characters. I'll give them back when I have finished playing. =]**

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He caught my wrists and then my gaze, stilling my hands and my heart in one single movement.

"I feel like I don't know who I am anymore."

The words came out of his mouth in a garbled mess as the suds on my fingers trickled down my arms, onto both our bodies, and finally down the drain. It took a moment for the words to sink in.

And then another moment for me to process what that meant.

I couldn't help but think this a mildly inappropriate place to break up with me, both of us stark naked in the cramped shower. But at the same time I felt I should have expected it. He had barely called on his last conference. I was getting texts from his mother, and Alice, and _Rosalie_, for fucks sake, to let me know he was okay. Everyone close to him knew something was up, and I had, naively thought that I was the one he would talk to about it. I thought I would help him fix it.

_Idiot_.

My mind was being lenient with its choice of berations. I deserved far worse than that.

The intensity of his gaze struck me and seemed to make the shower smaller, our bodies closer; blurring at the edges. I felt like it was just him and me in the entire world. My heartbeat doubled, tripled and completely galloped away from me; ripping my gaze from his green eyes was the most difficult of tasks. The mirror behind him was completely steamed up and all I could see in it was the vague blur of his back, and then the sharp switch from pale to auburn, skin to hair. I looked back at him and met his intense gaze as he let me process what he was saying, as I caught up with my heartbeat and then watched him read what I was thinking; I had never been able to conceal my emotions. The water that was still cascading around us ran down his nose, dripping off the end of it and onto his reddened lips beneath; another sign he wasn't taking care of himself, they were badly chapped -he was under the weather. The only thing that was stopping me from running away from him, other than his grip on me, which I would never break from willingly, was the heat from the showerhead that continually drenched us, as if it had no idea what he was saying to me. The steam and the heat enveloped me like his arms used to, and, I realised with a painful wince, never would again.

The wince he saw, something seemed to be stopping him catch my interpretation of his words sooner than that. Maybe it was the heat too, dulling his already weakened senses, and clogging his cold ridden head.

"I feel like," he paused, shaking his head slightly, "like I'm losing my soul."

I regarded him again, letting the words echo and bounce around the four corners of the tiled bathroom, bringing his words back to me again and again and again until they suddenly cut off, and all that was to be heard was the rushing of the water as it went from shower head to plug hole, with us nothing more than an inconvenience on its way.

My mind took a bitter turn as I remembered how long it had taken us to get to a point where he was comfortable talking about his emotions to me. I had been more than patient, more than comforting, and more than generous by sweetening the deal for him in various ways. Ironic now that I didn't want him to explain what was in his head. I would rather he cut me free and let me fall, rather than justify himself to me. I would still love him with or without his reasons. I had created a monster, and now I could only watch as it pulled me apart, limb from limb, with the strength I had given it.

His eyes roamed my face, as if looking for an answer, for something to tell him that he was okay to continue. For the first time since I met him, and threw my drink over him because I thought he was trying to spike it, I denied him the assertion he craved.

I didn't even notice him close the gap between us. The moment I blinked his mouth was against mine feverishly, desperately trying to covey every ounce of emotion within him. He whimpered against my lips as I kissed him back, tears silently spun with the shower spray. Out with a bang.

He had the good grace to afford me a final goodbye.

His hands released mine, and for a second they hovered where he let them go, before tangling roughly in his hair. His slid round my back, crushing my body against his with one hand, while the other grabbed a handful of my ass. I pulled his hair tightly as he bit down on my lips. There was too much to be said, too much to convey. Words were pathetic but even this display paled next to everything I needed him to understand. Teeth clashed clumsily but neither of us cared. His wet stubble rubbed my face painfully but I barely felt it. I wanted it. I wanted to know this was real. I ran a hand down onto the middle of his back, pressing myself even closer to him. Before the edges were blurred, now they were wholly erased. I couldn't tell who put my back against the wall, forcing the wind out of my body painfully, or which one of us looped my legs around his waist. The grunt it elicited could have come from either one of us. Tears mingled with water mingled with saliva as the kisses became harder and longer. I gave a moan as his tongue pushed into my mouth.

And then he stopped.

He was panting hard, and rested his forehead against mine as he let me catch my breath. I was shaking, and the tears were flowing unstoppably, but silently. The rims of his eyes were reddened, which was my only indicant that he was feeling as raw as I.

He gave a shaky exhale and pressed him lips gently against mine.  
"I need you." He said against my mouth, his hot breath pushing between my lips and rolling over my tongue. "IneedyouIneedyou." His breathing hitched and he closed his lips for a moment. "I love you." He whispered, looking up at my eyes hesitantly, before pressing his mouth against mine again. "IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou" The words tumbled out of his mouth, as garbled as his hair was at that moment and my hands fisted themselves back in the mess, pulling his lips down to mine.

He spoke into my mouth and I devoured his words hungrily. "and its bubbling up inside of me. I cant feel you enough. I cant be close enough to you."

I could only nod. If he wasn't holding me I doubted my jelly legs would do much for me by way of support.

"And I'm an jackass for not having told you before I left. And I'm cock for not calling you. And I don't blame you if you're going to leave."

A strangled sob squeezed through my tightly constricted throat. "I love you so much I don't know what to do with it." I whispered, less assured of my words than he. His careened around the room and bowled me over with their sincerity. I wanted to do the same, show him his love was equalled if not surpassed by my own. I was balling and uncurling my fists in his hair, unable to express anything.

"Words are crap." I finally forced out, "I love you isn't enough. I want to say more. To show you more. To give you more."

Finally, for the first time since he came home, he smiled, and his eyes shone. I let out a small sounding laugh, and he pressed his lips to mine again and I moaned in pleasure. The knowledge of how he felt made me euphoric, and I clung to him as he did to me.

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i have no idea where this came from, but i'm okay with that. :)


	2. Chapter 2

So, this ended up coming, again, from nowhere. Ive been so silent on here of late. I apologise. Hope you like.

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The darkness cloaked us, cocooned us firmly, securely beside one another. I felt the comfort of the night as I awoke from a sleep that was not restful. My eyelids flicked open but it was a pointless reflex; the light was long banished by the depth of the dark. I felt the weight of his arm slung across my midriff in a sleep soaked attempt at affection and the steady rasp of his breathing across chapped lips and a dry, heavy tongue.

Absolute stillness was my sanctuary within the shroud of the night, Wrapped in its unseen arms, the sound of my breathing over ridden by his, I felt the awareness of my own body melt into the sheet below. Lines blurred between me and him, and us and the bed. I was nothing in the room, the huge silent darkness - just a mind losing track of its own significance and a pair of wide unseeing eyes, drinking in the void.

It was too much, too dark, too comforting. My lost bodily awareness jolted in my suddenly there again stomach. Time was gone, swallowed by the night. The numbers of the clock on the wall pulled out of their loop in a segmented line, torn at each numeric perforation. I could have been awake for hours, or moments, and I couldn't be sure. My heart beat an anxious tattoo against my ribcage as that realisation gripped my nerves in a pitiless vice and shook them mercilessly. Despite the fact that I refused to let my breathing hitch, my heart was so loud that I was sure it covered all other sounds.

I was certain he could hear my heart.

I was certain that it had woken him up, and was now preventing him from going back to sleep, a belief only strengthened when, out of the darkness, his voice emerged.

"Are you awake?" Came his gruff whisper in the dark. I was jolted again, but this time from an excess of self awareness. He was awake, and were I to recollect my train of thought, perhaps I would note the absence of his breathing, or at least its easing, though it is unlikely as my thoughts were so egocentric I could hardly be expected to notice anything outside of me.

"Yes." Came my near silent response.

The bed dipped as he rolled towards me, grazing his stubble across my shoulder and pulling me into his warm body. The gesture was so small, and quiet, and made my chest swell with a happiness that made me want to cry at its simple sincerity. It confirm his earlier declarations with the tender movements of his hands across my skin, but alongside this came the unwelcome reminder of his treatment of me while he had been away. The words burst between my lips, unbidden, thoughts barely acknowledged in my mind fought for tangible recognition in the ether without my permission. The betrayal was rife this evening apparently.

"You didn't say a word to me."

Neither of us moved as my lips ghosted around the words which rendered us immobile with their weight.

I knew his tongue would be flicking over his lips and even in the impenetrable darkness I could see the crease between his eyebrows as he readied his response.

Maybe it would have been rational, and well rounded, and put paid to all of my doubts, if my doubts hadn't overridden everything in that moment and refused to wait silently while he verbally sidestepped the sticky situation he had landed himself in. Too long had I been silent and complicit, I thought, with a bitter tug of shame in the pit of my stomach for being such a good little wifey for so long.

I stumbled at my own choice of words: wifey?

That's what I considered myself?

I was not convinced that was my true sentiment upon the matter. In fact, it led me to a more logical explanation, one which if he were to voice it would result in nothing less than a long and painful castration.

The result was a little thought which tugged at the back of my mind with all the courage it could muster against my rage. It tapped gently before speaking softly.

"It would appear to be a hormonal response. The heart says nothing of the sort and is too busy bursting with love to counteract."

The grain of rationality gave a bow and scurried away, leaving me to re evaluate my feelings.

Beside me in the bed I heard him draw in a breath, and swiftly moved to kiss him, to halt his explanation before it began. I could sense his surprise; a slight tension that lasted barely a moment before his arms tightened around me, and his hands resumed their tender mapping of my body.

"I changed my mind." I explained softly in the gap between kisses. "Tell me another time."

He shifted his whole body onto mine and a sigh of pure contentment passed my lips.

Explanations could wait. I wanted us to claim this night, its impenetrable darkness enshrouding us, and revel in the knowledge that we were two people very much in love. While this absolute darkness lasted, ignorance of any finer details was bliss.


End file.
